COMING SOON

November, 2026

Gemes is a word that only exists in Indonesian. Have you ever been overcome by the intense desire to pinch a baby's cheeks? That's gemes. Psychologists call this phenomenon "Cute Aggression." I wonder if the first colonists looked at us and felt a perverse sense of gemes. Were we so adorable that they had to squeeze everything out of us?

This book recasts Indonesia—from the Dutch slave markets of Batavia to the U.S.-backed mass killings of 1965, and into my privileged Jakarta childhood and challenges to fit in America—this is a new retelling of the Indonesian story.

THE MOST GENTLE PEOPLE illustrates that we cannot understand ourselves without understanding history, and we cannot understand history without understanding Indonesia.

Indonesians are often called “gentle.” This is a backhanded compliment. We are considered cheap and easy—beautiful but poor. We are sought after as the world’s best bargain—the world’s best-kept secret.

When European colonists arrived, they considered us savages. When Japanese occupation ensued, they said it was “Asia for the Asians,” and then lied to us. When the United States intervened and installed a new government, they told us we were crazy. The New York Times wrote that we were a nation “run amok.”

Every time someone wants something from Indonesia—when they want us but do not want to recognize us—they call us “gentle” because that is a title you bestow upon something you have tamed.

After centuries of this, we began to believe this as gospel. We forgot how our backs became bent. At times, we blamed ourselves and turned on each other.

This book redefines what it means to be “gentle.” It reveals that Indonesia is still growing up, as I am. Half of Indonesians today were born after the collapse of the New Order regime.

We are not weak because we are gentle. We are gentle because we are kind. We are strong because we are kind. This book uses kindness as strength to examine our past with honesty and grace.