The Starting Block

Leaving a job is something I never really thought I would ever do or at least something I didn’t think would happen so early in my career. After all, I never viewed myself as a quitter. No college course prepares you for the act of leaving a job. It is one of those skills that you develop on the fly, I guess. I am taking the time to focus on reconnecting with myself and to plan for the next step.

I have always had a passion for writing but now I am trembling. Writing has always been an act that provided solace from my current reality or an opportunity to write about a vexing subject on my mind. However, now that I have set aside time to improve my craft, it appears as if all my tools have suddenly become blunt. My heart pounds the way one does when watching a horror movie and everyone in the audience sees the villain that the protagonist has yet to notice. My fingers tremble like that of one of my former colleagues who had developed carpal tunnel syndrome while working on a spreadsheet that would inevitably be unsued by our superiors. My chest stiffens and my breath stagnates much like the feeling of knowing you are about to kiss someone.. but then they reject you because they are afraid of the coronavirus. While that last bit was a tangent, it was worth mentioning what an awkward yet made-for-TV moment that date ended on.

I digress. I am excited to work on my craft. Yet I am terrified. A familiar yet altogether very new rush of adrenaline courses through my veins. A new race begins and I am at the starting block. A writer’s block.