Throwback Thursday: Heartbreak and Heartburn
This post was written in April 2020. I uncovered it while perusing some of my old files.
I quite like this one. Looking back, I know why I didn’t share it. I was in a bad place. Adrift.
That is the funny thing about writing and any media or art form, for that matter. Whether it be the aging of a fine wine, the brining of a pickle, or the freezing of a piece of pizza, time plays a unique role in bringing out new flavours.
And with that, please enjoy.
There is a difference between heartbreak and unrequited love. Heartbreak is like a smashed vase. Heartbreak is a feeling of disappointment. Betrayal. Jealousy. It is a feeling of anguish in which one cannot reconcile reality with that of what the heart assumed to be true or even possible. The feeling of loss whether it be of a lover, one’s perception of reality, or even of a dear life can lead to heartbreak. The pieces of the heart shatter like porcelain against a marble floor. The pieces are still there but picking them back up and piecing them together hurts because the pieces are sharp and it takes time to figure out how it all fits back together.
Unrequited love is different. Unrequited love is like a flame. A flame that burns bright for another. A flame that the user believes will warm their loved one. A flame that says look at me, I am here for you. Giving you light, love, and warmth. While heartbreak is often cited as the most sinister tragedy, unrequited love is much more detrimental in the long run. The flame of unrequited love burns bright to everyone except the one who the afflicted party seeks to show their love towards. The one engulfed in their flame will believe that their love is true and pure and that with time the other will notice. Others around will admire the person for being able to keep their flame alight during difficult times. But the flame will eventually burn and fade. The flame eventually overtakes the match that lights it and consumes its being. Once the flame devours the match, it remains for half a moment and then vanishes just like the match it subsited on. That is the difference between heartbreak and unrequited love.
While they are often tangled up in the mix after a loss, a broken heart can be pieced back together. But a heart seared by the flames of unrequited love does not so easily recover. Where do we go from here? Well for starters, if you can, let your heart break and build back up from there. It’s a terrible thing to go through but it is not forever. However, this begs the question, how do you deal with one-sided love? You care for their welfare unconditionally. Unconditional love is the purest form of love. It is in fact, one-sided. The purest form of love is to care for someone without regard for what is in it for you. This is easier said than done. Often times we love someone because of how they make us feel but that is not true love. That leads to unrequited love where we light our flame to receive something in return. However, unconditional love is not expressed in fancy presents, dates, or even words. This love is expressed offstage away from the limelight. In thoughts and actions such as thinking about another’s dreams, their safety, and their happiness. Thinking about their future, that may or may not involved you, and not just the present where you two find each other. This is a pure form of love. So if you are in a situation where the love is one-sided, do not light your flame to just flaunt your love. Instead, use that flame to light their life up. A match that burns for itself is just a flame. A match that burns for another is a light that illuminates their life.
“Sometimes to love someone you gotta be a stranger” - Rick Deckard, Blade Runner 2049
